Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #1 Final

{Author's Note: One part of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. where Hyde runs into and over the little girl, I thought needed a bit more in depth to it, so we as readers can see specifically how ugly in personality this man truly is, and more on the fear from the girl's point of view. I, therefore, decided to write a creative bit on the event from the girl's eyes.
Quotes:
"All at once, I saw two figures: one a little man who was stumping along eastward at a good walk, and the other a girl of maybe eight or ten who was running as hard as she was able down a cross street."
"the man trampled calmly over the child's body and left her screaming on the ground."}

The darkness, long had it fallen, and I was due home perhaps half an hour ago. My feet, small as they were, tapping the ground in rapid succession,, bringing me closer. The lights in the windows of the houses were clicking on all about me, making the sides of the street brighter. The corner approached, the clock was ticking, and I knew my house was not far from there. I rounded the corner to find a man, nay, a creature of my nightmares, with teeth bared and wrinkles about his eyes, a downright scary being. I could not stop, my feet flew too fast, and upon contact with him his forceful arm smashed me to the dirt, and his boot, terrible and caked in mud,  came down, upon my right leg. I threw out a loud scream as he took his other foot and pressed it into my stomach, his boots crushing and black as his soulless eyes, and he kept on, lifting his other foot up. He stepped hard onto the side of my neck, blood flow stopped to my head and I breathed hard, choking out a holler, and finally his monster of a foot lifted off of me, and I lay screaming in the dust. The people gathered around my body, now with dusty remnants of his steps on me clothing and skin, and they called up the Sawbones. I was lifted and taken up into my home, the crowd a few steps behind. The Sawbones had declared nothing to be wrong but a fright, but Hyde, that be the heartless man's name, had intended pain and injury. One look at his face and anyone could tell.He payed up. without a flinch, with a check, which was not near enough for what I am sure he had done in his devious life. I hope to never see such a demon as he ever again.

4 comments:

  1. Nice story! I liked how you added more depth into the incident between the girl and Hyde. It brings a better picture into the story.

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  2. i like how you went into detail about the true pain of the girl, and how evil and cruel you would have to be to do that and continue to walk away. you showed the depth of that moment and really made it an eye opener to the evil that is Hyde.

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  3. I absolutely LOVE your point of view shift! What a creative interpretation of the event!!! Maybe consider diving in even FURTHER at the moment that the impact occurs? Really lay it out there for the readers?
    Overall, I love it - unique and emotional!

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  4. Wow, I was not expecting that in the least. Just the fact that you wrote from the little girls point of view was very different from any other response I've read so far, frankly I didn't even think of it! Just maybe a little further? You're right there with the idea but just take it a step further. Overall though this has been the most interesting response and point of view so far.

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